I don't recall. That's the problem.

[He gestures to the air, like he's seeing a balloon fly away.]

It seems my memories are quite unreliable. Pieces of my life are just...well, gone. I may have had this for a long time or this may have been a recent thing. I can't say. But it is scary...it really is. Not being able to know when and how you'll be in control of yourself...